Not Dead!

I promise I haven't died or fallen off the planet or anything. I'm just enjoying some time with my Beloved.

HAHAHAHAHA

H/T: Hoyden About Town

New Target Women! Ladyfriends!

Music Highlight

Lily Allen has been previously noted by Melissa at Shakesville. I wanted to draw attention to this particular tune, "Not Fair." Allen deftly points out the problem of how women are expected to subvert their own needs and "settle" for less than what they want, because we aren't supposed to have a sexuality. I think I love two things best about this song. The first is how she explicitly says, "It's really not okay." Because it's really not. The second is the line, "Then I remember all the nice things that you ever said to me / Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe you're the one for me." That rings a chord with me, as those very words and thoughts have guided my close interactions for entirely too long. I'm still fighting that urge to believe I'm overreacting, and that I don't deserve what I need, just because someone has been nice to me.

Oh, he treats me with respect, he says he loves me all the time
He calls me fifteen times a day, he likes to make sure that I'm fine
You know I've never met a man who's made me feel quite so secure
He's not like all them other boys, they're all so dumb and immature

There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed, you're just no good, it's such a shame
I look into your eyes, I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair and I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean, I think you're really mean
Oh, you're suppose to care
But you never make me scream, you never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair and it's really not okay
It's really not okay, it's really not okay
Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take, yeah, all you do is take

Oh, I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed
I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I spent ages giving head
Then I remember all the nice things that you ever said to me
Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe you're the one for me

There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed, you're just no good, it's such a shame
I look into your eyes, I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair and I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean, I think you're really mean
Oh, you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream, you never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair and it's really not okay
It's really not okay, it's really not okay
Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take, yeah, all you do is take

There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed, you're just no good, it's such a shame
I look into your eyes, I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair and I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean, I think you're really mean
Oh, you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream, you never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair and it's really not okay
It's really not okay, it's really not okay
Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take, yeah, all you do is take

The Onion is a Nice Guy (TM)

Just gross:

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

Sorry Onion, this is not satire. Go get a dictionary.

OMG Shoez!

Check these out!!

"Is there a rape switch?" is the wrong question.

Go check out abyss2hope's post about the idea of a rape switch:

Some people will flat-out say that all men are animals who cannot control their sexual behavior once they are sufficiently sexually aroused. This puts girls and women in control of boys and men's rape switches. The only prevention under this model is for girls and women to never do anything which could sexually arouse a boy or man, thereby flipping his rape switch, unless that girl or woman is willing to accept that boy or man's mindless sexual aggression.

This is a handy way of thinking for boys and men who don't want to be held responsible for their own actions because they will only rape under specific circumstances. This can also give girls and women a false sense of safety since their choice to leave what are labeled as boys and men's rape switches in the off-position actually controls nothing.